August 3rd, 2008

The summer is flying by too fast...

how can it be August already?

One more summer gone

with me having accomplished only about 1/4 of all that I wanted to do

and all that I had planned.

This time at least only about 1/5 of the problem was procrastination

the rest was lack of time

lack of funds do to hugely unplanned circumstances

and a lack of ambition which laziness ended up creating.

But at least this summer the main culprit was lack of time

to accomplish the vast number of ideas I had created,

which is a better reason than the others listed,

so I don't look back with too much regret as far as what I didn't get to do at least.

But again, it's still another summer gone.

Gone by way too fast

and it's not even over yet, but I still feel its demise creeping up too quickly.

Another school year ended

another year gone by too quickly

another year which I haven't done goals

which I have wanted to start and finish for years.

Another summer gone

but it definitely was not all in vain.

Although it went by too fast, there are certain things I wouldn't want to go back for

To change mistakes made, yes, and no at the same time.

Going back and changing them would have made my summer much easier

But at the same time I don't want to.

There were things I learned that I needed to learn

Ways of thinking that needed to be change

Carelessness that I needed to become aware of and alter

Lessons were learned

Mistakes always cause damage,

but our goal should be to make them be fruitful in a good way as well

to use them in the future

to prevent us from doing the same actions again

Now knowing fully what they will reap on us

physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

No decision is without consequences

whether for good or bad

It is these decisions that define us for who we are

and our response to the consequences show what we're really made of.

And since the option of going back is not obtainable

we must press on and use our pasts to make our future brighter

by learning from our mistakes

and not letting them dictate who we will become.

July 31st, 2008

This, my dear, is pessimism.
Pessimism in it's highest form... which anyone with any degree of activity going on upstairs would know isn't very high at all.
Pessimism at it's finest, which you can still hardly qualify as "fine".
It's really a word game, see?
Pessimism at it's highest is really you at your lowest,
and pessimism at it's finest is really you at your worst.

It's just a way to take the "you" out of the sentance, trying to hide the fact that you are in a low frame of mind. Taking the "you" out makes it very much more acceptable to society, keeps out awkward silences and the uncomfortable feelings such ideas place on the ones you're sharing your troubles with.

Refering to it like an object, as the word "pessimism" does, redirects the attention off of you by more or less diffusing the whole effect of whatever you are about to share to the other person. It neutralizes the whole emotion, going from "I am" to "It is". Going from "this is what I'm feeling" to something more acceptable in some way I do not entirely understand. It's really making the subject entirely more objective than subjective.

And I really have no idea why I went off on any of that.
Or even if any of that made any sense.
I suppose it's just an off day.

June 30th, 2008

You see right... a new post! Miracles never cease to happen. ;)

Here's an art series I did from a while ago but never uploaded....

March 16th

Only one more photo today. I unfortunately had to focus on my studies today, reading Catch-22 for my English class to be specific. I truly should have finished it over break (or so were my plans anyways), but it remains only half way through. I only read about a quarter more of it. This book tends to be a hard book to speed read unfortunately...

March 15th

I can't believe spring break is almost over and this is the first picture I've posted all break, first. I'm seriously so disappointed with myself for not taking the chance I had to work on a new portfolio. I took many series of pictures, but just never got around to fully edit any of them, except the one solo photo that is in this post. I swear, Facebook really sucks out your life, and I fully blame it for taking away my break. Although I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself, I just shouldn't have created one for myself over break, that's all. Ah well, too late to change it now. I'll just have to work on the photos once school starts up again... and be super productive with editing them tomorrow between church services. We'll see how much I get done. =)

And for now, I must say goodnight, since I've basically been sleep deprived this entire break from allowing myself to stay up til about 2-3 AM every night. Monday is definitely going to be a rude awakening... both literally and figuratively...

February 21st

A Bitter Thing

Failure
Is such a bitter thing
It gnaws at the soul
tears flesh from flesh
The bite of wind with icy teeth
cutting deep into an unarmed cheek
Burns like coals
flaming beneath naked feet
Crying out blindly
in their raw defeat
Flail, fight, do what they may
But it inevitably awakens
like the blooming of day

February 20th

Spring

Dark like the grave
Cold as a corpse
It is born out of this
Most unexpectedly
Out of death comes life
Spites the reaper with a laugh
Boldly comes forth
Like a patriot crying "Liberty!"